Ponderings

It's been an interesting journey in the last three months, a much needed journey and yet a far-from-easy journey.

I plugged into a couple of groups at church. I was even excited at times at how I might be of great help in each group; and in each, I was faced incidents that shocked me or confused me. I had been excited about helping in several different ministries, yet doors appeared to be closing. My way forward felt blocked by the very ones who I hoped would bring me alongside as a disciple to serve.

In times like these, we have a choice, just like Joseph in his being sold into slavery and being sent back to prison, etc., whether to kick against what doesn't make sense or to look to God to lead as he sees fit because, well, I am the created and he is the Creator. I'm not calling the shots. Oh, I have so much to learn, and I find a bit of comfort in my trusting that he is indeed working these things out in me that I might grow to become more like my Christ. My worth is not found in serving in a church, I must remind myself!

ghijkvl

Lose a loved one? Join a GriefShare group

Let me give you a little background on what I missed out on earlier and why I think GriefShare could be so valuable to you or your loved ones.

In 2005, after losing Dad, I stumbled upon some church's invitation to join their grief group. I had times of anguish. I freely wept as the need arose. Seeing this invitation got me thinking that I might benefit from "formalizing" my grief, from committing myself to face my grief in a community aimed at those of us who are grieving. Sadly, I never received calls back for the two messages I left on that church's answering machine. I went about grieving as best I knew how; I did what came naturally, most of which was appropriate, some of which was stupid.

Hindsight helps. In the four years since Dad's death, two years since my sister's death and year-plus since my brother-in-law's death, I have wrestled with completely different things related to each person's life and death. And I have heard a few of the surprises that hit family members in their own grieving.

Several few weeks ago, my current church advertised that they'd be starting a new round of GriefShare. My heart was tugged to be of help to folks with recent losses; when I think that I would have benefitted from additional insight earlier on in my grieving, I am motivated to be an ear for those facing new griefs. I contacted the church about the idea of my hanging out at the group, if I could be of help. They said I could start off by joining the group like others and sharing along with them.

I'm writing this after our third meeting because I'm really motivated to--I'm not just filling a blog.

What I want to praise the most is the honesty in the videos that are part of this formalized "GriefShare" program. They talk about things that I think many newly-grieving folks might not want to admit they're feeling or thinking (because many of us think we're supposed to have it together or be more mature or be more spiritual or whatever our excuse is). What I love about the videos is that they always have person after person speaking openly about their grieving experience with its surprises. It's the same 20 or so folks from video to video. There is something beneficial about that familiarity; it's easier to hear them as if I am growing to trust them as if forming new friendships.

They always--always--bring up stuff that someone in the room can relate to. Hearing someone else say what I have secretly felt, there's something healing about that. Get this: this is a video series put together by God-loving folks. Faith is a central part of this. And yet--I so appreciate this--they acknowledge the reality that loss like this can lead to some really tough thoughts such as anger toward God, anger toward the one who died, depression, etc. Ooo, anger toward God? Is that okay to talk about with a church group? Oh man, it better be. If it's not, that group is messed up. So I am thankful that they have not shied away from such openness. Their openness is a springboard for us to grasp that what we are going through it most certainly not unusual. I think that that is invaluable for folks who are grieving. For that aspect alone, I recommend going to a GriefShare group. Even if you never say anything to others in the group, hear the people in the video. They are NOT lecturing at all, not telling you what to think. Far from it. In their openness, we relax and are able to be more open with each other. All part of healing.

It's easy listening and I think you would agree that they often speak our hearts on our behalf.

Another big benefit is getting to express the hidden stuff; we each have the opportunity (but not requirement) to talk about our situation, our journey. Yeah, there's a little bit of overlap in our journeys. I'd say there is a lot about our journeys that are not like the others'. The benefit is in putting these things into words. Get it out. And repeat the process. Some folks are quieter, mainly taking in the beneficial thoughts presented in the videos or listening to fellow attendees. Others of us are more vocal. I think, with time, everyone will be more open as they relax into the safety of and familiarity with the confidential group.

The hardest part is going. "Why should I go hang out with folks who are in a dark place in their lives?" or whatever my reasoning might be. It's a hassle to travel to this meeting. It does not necessarily feel "inviting" to arrive in a room where folks are sitting quietly in chairs waiting for things to start. Fortunately, the start gets out of the way at some point, and the good stuff begins to happen. Faces are more familiar and there's some greeting, some comradery, the value of being with folks who DO know what it's like to grieve. The video is always powerful, as I have described. It helps bring me out, helps focus my grief, helps me put words on things I might not have otherwise thought to talk about. And getting to bring these things up in front of the group, that's good; there is always healing in getting past the discomfort of opening up to a bunch of folks to share that which I might not have talked about before. Being known and accepted instead of being alone and in hiding--always a better option.

Tonight, some things said in the video touched on some particular points of pain for me. I told the group that that was tough to hear because "I don't want to go there" while at the same time, I also think that it's time for me to go there, not because anyone told me to but because I'm aware that I've not wanted to head toward the storm of my grief, as my brother-in-law Scott admonished me in the year before his death, and I see that it is fitting for me to do so. As the leader predicted, it would be good for me to join as a participant: I would benefit in my own grieving process.

Invariably, the journey of the evening has made it worthwhile. It is worth forcing yourself to go when you don't want to. My hope is that this description is that nudge you need to find such a group. High praise for the specific program called GriefShare.

A soul exercised

I have created Google Earth markers for somewhere between 500 and 700 of the locations of photos on phoons.com (background). There are more than 4000 Phoons, so I have a loooong way to go.

Aha! It occurred to me that I have a file that contains the stories that accompany the photos. Those stories include the city information. What if I could bulk convert the city information into Google Earth markers? Sure, the markers would not be accurate; they'd just be central to each city; but at least I'd be creating markers in the general area and get closer to my goal far faster. And, so, I made a copy of the data file and began whittling it down to city details.

Fortunately, most of the city/story details in this file are in a very consistent form and I was able to bulk-convert most of the lines to city names in just a few minutes. The rest I'd have to read individually and hand-tweak to the form that I needed before I could convert the whole list to Google Earth markers.

I found I was typing "Portland, Oregon" a lot. I was encountering story after story written by my sister Jan. Her stories, written in a certain span of years, did not fit the pattern that cleaned up easily in the prior bulk conversion. And, so, now, here I was having to read story after story to trim down to city details. And I was being immersed in her journey with cancer: there were nurses and doctors who phooned at her request, fellow chemo patients who phooned (one lady boldly pulled her wig off to phoon with shiny scalp); family members phooned on an overpass between hospital buildings, Matt visited her in the hospital in the days before dating his future bride (Jan's daughter). Story after story. Wham, wham, wham. Jan, Jan, Jan.

There was extra intensity to this because of the month and because of this weekend. It's September. Jan died two years ago this month. And Dan, once her husband, is here this weekend, visiting Mom and me with his new wife Denise. What a wonderful gal; what a fortunate man. Dan reminded me that he and his son A.J. had visited us some time in the last two years. I remember that visit as well as I don't remember most of elementary school, likely fallout from grief. What I remember as his last trip was him and Jan working in Mom's garage to help sort things. On their trip home, Jan's body went goofy and the emergency room folks x-rayed to find a bunch of big brain tumors that had seemed to give her no trouble in her days here. (A few days later, Jan wrote about it in her typical light-hearted, God-trusting style.) What dear people Dan and Denise are. I cried with joy at their wedding, rejoicing in God's provision for each of them. I grieved then and grieved this week at not yet "having my own." I wouldn't be surprised that I will forever have unresolved loss around my sister's life, my sister's dying, and my sister's death. I'm so glad to have had this time with Dan and Denise. The scatteredness of this paragraph is fortunately not representative of how I have handled this weekend. It has been a delight to love when it's time to love. There has been a considerable weight, too, and I have found that I have needed more sleep.

And here's this Phoon story activity that flooded my thinking with Jan and her gifts in the middle of her cancer. Well, I got to the point where I wasn't up for continuing to swim in those thoughts any more at the moment. Blogging seemed like a good outlet in this moment. I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow.

Unsettled by Dad

Four years since losing Dad. Last week, he and I walked around my house and talked about the different rooms. He magically pushed through a wall and led me into a room I had never seen before, beautifully furnished with old everything, like from a museum. After a bit, I awoke from the dream.

Whoa, that was powerful. There was a depth to it like I hadn't experienced in a long time. It was good to see him, good to remember that man I valued. Soon after, though, I felt the pain of missing him. The pain outweighed the good feeling in the dream. I was shaken for a couple of days.

Last night, I went to church service. As we made our way through the many songs that kicked off the service, I observed that the African American man directly ahead of me continued to receive hugs and hand grips from those nearby. As is our tradition there, midway into the service, singing continues and folks are invited to slip out of their seats and make their way to the front; some stand, some kneel. While there's nothing magical about the front of the church versus the back or even the inside of the building, it's definitely evidence of something big going on for your heart that you'd leave the comfort and anonymity of your seat, make people shift so you can get out of your aisle, and end up in front with a bunch of other folks. The man ahead of me slipped out to head forward. Two brothers slipped out and hung their hands on his shoulders as they joined him to the front. On his return, he got more hugs. Another guy discretely slipped a handful of tissues into this guy's hand.

I knew that "meet and greet" time was coming in the service when we'd have the chance to say hello to folks around us we don't know. I remember how bizarre and how emotional it was to go to church for the first time after Dad died. No one else feels your particular loss; many of them are just enjoying participating in the joyful-feeling, toe-tapping singing. "This is supposed to be joyful, right?" was part of the storm of thinking on that Sunday long ago. And as we now continued in joyful song, my heart grew heavy from thinking of what this young man was probably going through. What was it like for him to be in the middle of joyous singing? What would "meet and greet" time be like for him?

Meet and greet time arrived and folks rose to their feet to begin the dance of who to connect with first. I dropped my hand on his shoulder from behind, and he rotated around. I used our shaking hands to pull him closer. "People are lovin' on ya like you lost someone," I said with a straight look in his eyes. "Yeah," he said. "Who did you lose?" "My father just passed away," he said.

In hindsight, I'm a little embarrassed at my actions--were they more about me in the moment than about where he might be at?--but I was genuine then and emotionally I meant it for him: I pulled this stranger close, hugging him. I told him I was so sorry, that I understood because I'd lost my father. I tried to express my understanding of the significance. He relaxed into the hug and conveyed this was a huge loss for him.

Yeah, there was a beauty in seeing folks rally around this guy, offering loving words, hugs. And I remember now how beautiful it was to me in the weeks and months after losing Dad how love came from so many people, how people I didn't know very well told me of their love for Dad or of how he had touched their lives. I guess I just wanted to be part of that memory for this guy, to be part of the wave of love that he needs right now, even from strangers. Maybe I got it wrong; maybe I was out of place. But I'm thinking the benefit of my love outweighed any oddity in my reaching out. Hoping.

That was it. The service went on, and I met with other folks after the service.

Last week, before I had that dream, I emailed the church and asked if I could help out in any way in their upcoming Grief Share program for those facing losses of all sorts. Interesting that I had these two events since then. They intensified my awareness that there's loss all around us. Loss goes on. We need to share in the journey. Will that guy be in the group? 'twill be interesting to see.

Scott and Joanne: what I'll remember

An image is etched in my mind because of the story you told of your lives. You went to China for a Summer to teach English and share your lives. The Chinese students were eager to get this higher quality of English on their resumes yet had no idea what treat was in store for them.

Quickly they were drawn to you. You were no ordinary teachers. Scott, you conveyed facts and principles, and you surprised and delighted them with grand expressions and acts, even silliness. Joanne, you covered them with the love of a mother. Their prejudices and assumptions about Americans were shattered as they came to know--to experience--the love and friendship that you had for each other and that you extended to them.

The thing that stands out most, the thing that continues to echo in my mind after all these year after your trip and your telling the story, was your discussion with them about relational love. You drew a zigzag diagram illustrating a common problem: people in relationships where the attraction and interest declines and, instead of hanging in their, the parties go look for new excitement. The graph rises! But it shows the same descent until those parties part to find new relationships, and so the up and down continues. A common pattern. A socially-accepted pattern. But such relationships missed out on developing true love. If I remember right, you sketched a zigzag of your own relationship--you acknowledged pits you experienced in life--yet you reflected on how your commitment led to a graph that worked its way back up, as mutual love won out over personal satisfaction.

No doubt, I heard parts of the story wrong and have come up with the wrong details here. But what sticks in my mind is that you were in a place in your lives to be able to convey that story and you did convey that story, and not only to them but indirectly to me. And since then I have gotten to see you live it out in so many ways.

Scott, it is with excellence that you have lived that out. Joanne, it is with excellence that you have lived that out. Oh my gosh--that is exactly what a family needs to see and experience and have etched into their minds. Scott, you crafted a message and presented it to your fellow church goers. I was silenced as you laid out your stark journey of this last year for you and for Joanne. This excellence of living--it was obvious throughout your story as you spoke lovingly of Joanne and of those who have cared and will care for each of you.

And, as I said, these are the things that last for us! It is these kinds of things that I recall about Dad and about Jan, examples of love, humility, kindness, wisdom... In your living right, you have created this precious gift for us in the years to come.

I love you,

John

Miss ya, Jan

Articles by Jan: Dear Helen   A Divine Wrestling Match  

There are a handful of conversations with my sister that I'll never forget.

While her cancer took her body down from 2000 to now, I witnessed the opposite in her spirit: a beautiful transformation, a great growth. I'd known the phrase "the God of Abraham" all my life. Because of the work of God that I saw her life in these last years, this phrase because rich in meaning to me: "the God of Jan." I wanted what I saw in her life. I want what I saw in her life. These were deeply personal things for me, not something I could easily express to her. But I was able to a couple of times in the last couple of years. I won't forget this phrase.

While awaiting a surgery, she called family members from the hospital. It was hard for me to speak up in a time that might turn out to be my last conversation with her yet easy for me to choose the words that were of great significance to me: "Jan, I'm so proud of you." And I heard the controlled tears in her pointed response, "I'm so proud of you, too." I won't forget that. I'll see you again," I said. I could hear her smile in her response: "Yes, I'll see you again."

A few weeks ago, Jan's husband called Mom from the hospital. Jan was alert, and it was an opportunity for Jan and Mom to connect. Mom called me in and handed the phone over to me. To my surprise, I heard Jan's cheerful voice. What would I talk about in this precious yet awkward opportunity? Looking out the window, I saw the beautiful flowers in Mom's garden and recalled Jan's enjoyment of beautiful gardens. I described to her the dark blue lobelia under the lavender cosmos. I heard sounds of satisfaction. I "complained" about Mom not letting me move the orange tiger lilies out of the section of garden that was otherwise pinks, lavenders and blue. Her response was a sort of chuckle. I couldn't really understand what she said after that. I told her that I loved her and that I knew she loved me.

Today, she's free. That's one of several things that I envy about her.

When I try some new combination of herbs and spices and hit on a winner, I'll hurt that I can't share my experience with her, the gourmet cook in our family. When I learn something new about flowers or groom the garden into a cluttered palette of colors, I'll hurt that I can't share those details with her, one who worked her garden with her husband as often as possible. I'll miss that I can't talk with her when I'm in a tough spot, I'll miss the embrace of her words of kindness, her words of strength when life brought challenges, her words of wisdom that might include rebuke, her prayers for my well-being.

Oh to be able to share my new creations, my music, my art with her, one who always encouraged me on, one who always exuded life, even when I called at some crazy late hour when I "decided" that her body probably wasn't letting her sleep anyway. Her longings for what I longed for will echo in my soul.

I only got to watch remotely as the God of Jan loved those who were around her... fellow chemo patients poured out their hearts, nurses poured out their hearts, families from church poured out their hearts to this one who had grown in compassion and insight for the great good of so many others.

With great honor I will be known as "Jan's brother." Jan, I'm so proud of you.

...but be transformed by the renewing of your mind

A week ago, I listened to a message in which the speaker slipped in this advice: don't ask people what they think I should in my situation but instead ask people what God's word says God says I should do. A fascinating insight. Recently, I've sought out advice, received unsolicited advice, shot from the hip, myself...and wavered between trust and turmoil as I hope for my head and heart to stop spinning. I have not been good about seeking out God's advice.

My sister Jan sent me an email tonight. She didn't really offer any of her own specific thoughts; mainly just these verses. Wow. How fitting. How calming, cleansing; convicting, correcting, quieting. I am encouraged to be reminded that even the fire is of benefit when I'm continuing to be crafted by God. I got God's advice, and it was good.

I want you to experience peace in the midst of your storm, too. And so I pass on the encouragement that was passed on to me.

---

John,

Verses that God gave me for you...

Genesis 50:20 As far as I am concerned, God turned into good what man meant for evil.
Exodus 4:10-12 But Moses pleaded with the Lord, "I am not a good speaker. I never have been and am clumsy with words." The Lord replied, "Who makes mouths, who makes people so they can speak or not, hear or not, see or not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go and do as I have told you. I will help you speak well, and I will tell you what to say."
Numbers 23:19 God is not a man that He should lie. He is not a human, that He should change His mind. Has He ever spoken and failed to act? Has He ever promised and not carried it through?
Deuteronomy 6:4 You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength.
Deuteronomy 32:39 See now that I, I am He, and there is no god besides Me; it is I who put to death and give life. I have wounded, and it is I who heal; and there is no one who can deliver from My hand.
1 Chronicles 4:9,10 Jabez prayed to the Lord. "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territories! Please be with me in all that I do, and keep me from all trouble and pain-–keep me from causing pain too." And God answered his request.
2 Chronicles 7:14 If My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, the I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land.
2 Chronicles 31:21 Hezekiah sought God wholeheartedly. As a result he was very successful.
2 Chronicles 32:7,8 Be strong and courageous. We have the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles for us!
Job 23:10 But He knows where I am going. And when He has tested me like gold in a fire, He will pronounce me innocent.
Job 38:1 Then the Lord answered Job from [in the midst of] the storm.
Psalm 9:9,10 The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know Your name trust in You, for You, O Lord, have never abandoned anyone who searches for You.
Psalm 19:13,14 Keep me from deliberate sins! Don't let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You, O Lord, my rock and redeemer.
Ps. 25:15 My eyes are always looking to the Lord for help; for He alone can rescue me from the traps of my enemies.
Ps. 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid? The Lord protects me from danger—so why should I tremble?
Ps. 27:11 Teach me how to live, O Lord. Lead me along the path of honesty, for my enemies are waiting for me to fall.
Ps. 27:13 Yet I am confident that I will see the Lord's goodness while I am here in the land of the living.
Ps. 32:7 You are my hiding place; You protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.
Ps. 34 Read ALL of it.
Ps. 37:3-5 Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart's desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord, trust Him and He will help you.
Ps. 62:11,12 God has spoken plainly, and I have heard it many times: Power, O God, belongs to you. Unfailing love, O Lord, is Yours.
Ps. 119:67,68,71 I used to wander off until You disciplined me--but now I closely follow your word. You are good and do only good...teach me Your principles. The suffering you sent was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to Your principles.
Ps. 119:105 Your Word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path.
Psalm 139 Read ALL of it...especially verse%2023 and%2024.
Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths.
Proverbs 15:1,4,14,22 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger. Gentle words bring life and health. A wise person is hungry for truth, while the fool feeds on trash. Plans go wrong for lack of advice—many counselors bring success.
Prov. 17:28 Even fools are thought to be wise when they keep silent: when they keep their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.
Prov. 18:17 Any story sounds true until someone tells the other side [sets the record straight].
Prov. 18:21 Those who love to talk will experience the consequences, for the tongue can kill or nourish life.
Prov. 25:8,21,22,24 Don't be in a hurry to go to court. You might go down before your neighbors in shameful defeat. So discuss the matter with them privately. Don't tell anyone else, or others may accuse you of gossip. Then you will never regain your good reputation. If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat. If they are thirsty, give them water to drink. You will heap burning coals on their heads, and the Lord will reward you.
Prov. 26:4,5 When arguing with fools, don't answer their foolish arguments, or you will become as foolish as they are.
Prov. 28:13 People who cover over their sins will not prosper. But if they confess and forsake them, they will receive mercy.
Prov. 29:1,20 Whoever stubbornly refuse to accept criticism will suddenly be broken beyond repair. There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.
Ecclesiastes 4:9,10,12 Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer.
Isaiah 43:1,2 The Lord who created you says, "Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name. You are mine. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you."
Isaiah 43:19 "For I am about to do a brand-new thing," says the Lord. See I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness for my people to come home. I will create rivers for them in the desert."
Isaiah 54:17 But in that day, no weapon turned against you will succeed. And everyone who tells lies in court will be brought to justice. The servants of the Lord enjoy these benefits; their vindication will come from me. I the Lord have spoken.
Isaiah 55:8,9 My thoughts are completely different from yours, says the Lord. And My ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than yours.
Jeremiah 1:4 I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my spokesman to the world.
Jeremiah 17:14 O Lord, You alone can heal me: You alone can save. My praises are for You alone.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for Me in earnest, you will find Me when you seek me. I will be found by you.
Jer. 32:17 O Sovereign Lord, You have made the heavens and earth by your great power. Nothing is too hard for You.
Lamentations 3:22 The unfailing love of the Lord never ends. By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day.
Lamentations 3:55-58 I called upon You from deep within the well, and You heard me! You listened to my pleading; You heard my weeping. You came at my despairing cry and told me... Do not fear! Lord You are my lawyer! Plead my case! Be my judge, and prove me right.
Habakkuk 1:5 The Lord replied, "Watch and be astounded at what I will do! For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn't believe even if someone told you about it."
John 8:31,36 Jesus said, "You are truly my disciples if you keep obeying my teachings. And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. If the Son sets you free, you will indeed be free."
Romans 8:28,38 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purposes for them. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from His love. Death can't and life can't.
I Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Galatians 5:22 When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, He will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Ephesians 4:31,32 [These behaviors grieve the Holy Spirit] so get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander... Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Ephesians 6:10-18 Be strong with the Lord's mighty power. Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all the strategies and tricks of the Devil. ... Use every piece of God's armor to resist the enemy, so that after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News. In every battle you will need your faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Pray at all times and on all occasions in the power of the Holy Spirit.
Philippians 2:13,14 For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey Him and the power to do what pleases Him. In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing, so that no one can speak a word of blame against you.
Philippians 4:4–8 Always be full of joy in the Lord. Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Don't worry about anything—instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and don't forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Phil. 4:13 For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need.
Colossians 3:12,13 Since God chose you to be the holy people whom HE loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Love,
Jan

---

I look to you for guidance,
deliverance and strength
In the midst of all my troubles
~ I will wait for you ~

I am confident that I will see
Your goodness in my heart
I will wait for you, O Lord
~ I will wait for you ~

Wait for the Lord
Be strong and take heart
I will see the goodness of
the Lord

Wait for the Lord
Be strong and take heart
I will see the goodness of
the Lord