Saturday, February 23, 2008 : 2:56 PM

Scott and Joanne: what I'll remember

An image is etched in my mind because of the story you told of your lives. You went to China for a Summer to teach English and share your lives. The Chinese students were eager to get this higher quality of English on their resumes yet had no idea what treat was in store for them.

Quickly they were drawn to you. You were no ordinary teachers. Scott, you conveyed facts and principles, and you surprised and delighted them with grand expressions and acts, even silliness. Joanne, you covered them with the love of a mother. Their prejudices and assumptions about Americans were shattered as they came to know--to experience--the love and friendship that you had for each other and that you extended to them.

The thing that stands out most, the thing that continues to echo in my mind after all these year after your trip and your telling the story, was your discussion with them about relational love. You drew a zigzag diagram illustrating a common problem: people in relationships where the attraction and interest declines and, instead of hanging in their, the parties go look for new excitement. The graph rises! But it shows the same descent until those parties part to find new relationships, and so the up and down continues. A common pattern. A socially-accepted pattern. But such relationships missed out on developing true love. If I remember right, you sketched a zigzag of your own relationship--you acknowledged pits you experienced in life--yet you reflected on how your commitment led to a graph that worked its way back up, as mutual love won out over personal satisfaction.

No doubt, I heard parts of the story wrong and have come up with the wrong details here. But what sticks in my mind is that you were in a place in your lives to be able to convey that story and you did convey that story, and not only to them but indirectly to me. And since then I have gotten to see you live it out in so many ways.

Scott, it is with excellence that you have lived that out. Joanne, it is with excellence that you have lived that out. Oh my gosh--that is exactly what a family needs to see and experience and have etched into their minds. Scott, you crafted a message and presented it to your fellow church goers. I was silenced as you laid out your stark journey of this last year for you and for Joanne. This excellence of living--it was obvious throughout your story as you spoke lovingly of Joanne and of those who have cared and will care for each of you.

And, as I said, these are the things that last for us! It is these kinds of things that I recall about Dad and about Jan, examples of love, humility, kindness, wisdom... In your living right, you have created this precious gift for us in the years to come.

I love you,

John