A sharing of experiences

What an interesting journey this morning in church. A gentleman shared his story and, as much as he positioned his story or himself as being of little value, I thought God put him there just to talk to me and provide comfort in my seeing that I wasn't alone. If everyone else had been completely disinterested, that wouldn't have mattered to me: I needed that time. Afterward, it was clear from the tear-puffed eyes in the room and the line of people who talked with him at length and held him in embrace at length that many people had a similar story and benefitted from someone else standing up and saying "here's where I'm at, and God knows and cares."

The subtitle of this blog (see the veeery top) is "A sharing of experiences." While the header text might come across as "I have encouragement to offer," it's really something different I have in mind: a "letting down of my hair" in case that is of help to someone else out there who stumbles upon these writings. And yet I'd strayed from that. The blog entry following this is about singleness. I had deleted it the other day because it just seemed too depressing or personal. Some may think it wasteful for me to discuss my weaknesses; they may think I only hurt my reputation or future opportunity by presenting anything other than strength and joy.

But then I heard this gentleman today and I was reminded of why I started this big blog. I remembered that, in sharing, maybe we soon find support. Or maybe others realize we're safe, that we're not someone claiming to have it all together; and they might uncork in that safety to share their hidden burden. That comfort can pave the way for God's provision to get through, for each of us to let go, once again, and trust that God knows what is best for us and will care for us.

Isn't opening up difficult? But isn't opening up a blessing when we find an ear that understands--someone to share the load of our burden, even if the burden doesn't go away? I am so glad when I hear of another widow talking to my Mom about their losses. "You understand" is the underlying connection and strength in the sharing. They're not as alone.

To the gentleman at church who was open, though he felt like nothing: Thank you. You are not alone. And you helped me remember that I am not alone.

It is not good for man to be alone

A month or so ago, I heard someone point out that this "not good" comment of God's came on the heels of a string of "it is good" comments.

Some of you understand my response as a single: "Hey, I'm well aware of the pains of being single. This doesn't help. Don't rub it in."

But I had also been reminded recently that God knows what he's doing, that God works out everything for my good (whether it's something I'll have a clue about in this lifetime or not).

I've got to believe, then, that that means that there is a greater good in God's plan of my still being single and wrestling with what I wrestle with. The "curse of the 'not good' comment" is outweighed by the good of God's love and wisdom of what he is working out in me, whether for my sake or others' or both.

The person who started this topic also talked about Adolph Coors, Jr. (yep, the beer connection) whose father was murdered. Jr. talks now about how that horrible event was something God used in Jr.'s life to address his hard heart of unforgiveness.

With significant resistance but knowing it's best, I've got to say, "Ok, God, keep it up. You know what you're doing. And you love me."